That's what I was last Sunday morning. There was a specific event that caused this feeling...but I'll get to that after some backstory.
When I first got back to the US I sent out a quick update just to let all my friends/supporters know that I was Stateside. In that email I mentioned that I was hoping to try to purchase a new laptop this summer. Not just any laptop, a Macbook Pro. I explained that I want a Mac so that I can start doing some good quality videos for the Mission (I do have a degree in A/V production after all) but that I know Macs are very expensive and if I'm not able to get one, it's just fine.
I was at one of the congregations that I call "home" here in the US last Sunday. For Sunday School I got to hear a great message by Mr. Hammer (from Togo) about how he grew up and how his family got to Togo. In between Sunday School and the Preaching one of the elders from the congregation that I've known since I was a little kid and who was the one that organized a trip to Ghana/Togo 3 years ago that was my first trip, pulled me aside because he wanted to talk to me about something. We went into an old, un-used office and he said "did you get your new computer yet?" I told him I hadn't and he pulled a stack of credit cards out of his pocket and started explaining to me that he'd gotten them through work (freqent traveler points kind of thing) and that each one has $100 on it....there were 11 of them! Then, as if that wasn't enough, he handed me a check to take to the other congregation I call "home" to my forwarding agent. I didn't even look at it because I was too busy telling him how much I appreciate him and how he's the only one that responds to my newsletters and what an awesome, encouraging man of God he is.
O-V-E-R-W-H-E-L-M-E-D
When I sat down next to my mom I was telling her about it, and that I didn't look at the check & she said "give it to me...I'll look at it!" After she looked at it she said, "I think you need to look at this check.." It was a personal check from him for One Thousand Dollars! once again O-V-E-R-W-H-E-L-M-E-D
All during the singing and praying I was just feeling this sense of awe. I even had a hard time singing at one point because I was trying not to cry. God is so awesome....
After the service, a lady that is very supportive of my work in Ghana came up to me and handed me $25....she said "It's not much, but use it to buy yourself something....a splurge." This lady is pretty old...I'm not sure of her age but her husband is 92. She has told me more than once that she always wanted to go to Africa to work as a missionary so she really admires me. They don't have a lot of money, so that twenty-five bucks is probably actually a sacrifice for her. Then a lady, who happens to be the generous elder's daughter and was also on that first trip to Africa with me, handed me a check for $100 and said "use it for your Mac."
O-V-E-R-W-H-E-L-M-E-D
I don't want to say that I can't belive it....because nothing that God does should surprise me...but I was shocked. Unfortunately the generosity of people is surprising sometimes. Living in Ghana and seeing the great poverty there, the real need for things that are NOT luxuries...food, clothing clean water, safe housing...then coming here....sometimes it kind of makes me sad that people are so selfish. But it's people like these 3 (and many many more that I haven't talked about here) that give me hope about America. True Christians are not selfish, they're generous....so I guess it shouldn't surprise me when they are generous to me.
I guess I'm getting a Mac :-) I'm already excited thinking about different types of videos I can shoot for the mission and yes, for fun too.
On a different note;
I'm planning on posting here more regularly. I've been thinking about schedules a lot lately and I think if I actually schedule a blog post on my calendar every 2 weeks then I will do it. I've been terrible about keeping my supporters updated it seems. I'm actually pretty ashamed of it. I feel like I have a responsiblity to let people know what they're supporting and I don't think I've done such a great job this last year. So I'm working on a schedule in my head (to be put on a calendar later). Updates, blog posts, even notes and emails are going to all have a place on it. I know that I have a hard time remembering to keep in touch with people...it's something I'm working on changing. My schedule for the next 3 weeks is going to be busy. Every Sunday and Wednesday starting this Sunday I have a presentation to do about Ghana. I'm nervous and excited about that. I hope I can get the things across in the presentations that God wants me to get across. The important things. I hope my supporters will see that their sacrifice is not in vain and I hope that maybe I'll gain some new support. Well, I gues this post is quite long enough....so I'll end it here. I hope you're doing great by God's Grace
AkoBAM
8.14.2010
8.10.2010
Consistency...
Consistent: adjective
1.agreeing or accordant; compatible; not self-contradictory: His views and actions are consistent.
2.constantly adhering to the same principles, course, form, etc.: a consistent opponent.
3.holding firmly together; cohering.
4.Archaic . fixed; firm.
I have been thinking about consistency a lot lately. In almost every facet of life being consistent is the key, as far as I can tell. I know that personally, every time I have tried to change my eating and exercising habits, the only time I saw any real results were the times when I was really consistent. I don’t have any kids, but I’ve interacted with a lot of different kids from a lot of different backgrounds and I can see a clear difference between the kids that have had consistent discipline and those that have not. In just about anything I can think of, prayer, bible reading, memory work, learning to play an instrument ,learning a new language, learning just about anything for that matter…consistency is key. We see in the bible that Jesus and his disciples were noticeably consistent. It was Jesus’ “habit” to go out alone and pray in the early morning or late evening hours. It was the habit of the apostles to go into the temples and synagogues to teach. So why am I thinking about this? Well, I think that consistency is something that humans really struggle with. We get lazy, we get tired of doing the same thing over & over again. But this is something that have to remember is that living a consistent life, a life that is in the footsteps of Christ, is something that we CANNOT get tired of. It’s just something we have to choose to do. So whatever you’re doing…work at it as if working for the Lord! Be consistent in everything for God’s glory. He’s consistent, we should be too.
1.agreeing or accordant; compatible; not self-contradictory: His views and actions are consistent.
2.constantly adhering to the same principles, course, form, etc.: a consistent opponent.
3.holding firmly together; cohering.
4.Archaic . fixed; firm.
I have been thinking about consistency a lot lately. In almost every facet of life being consistent is the key, as far as I can tell. I know that personally, every time I have tried to change my eating and exercising habits, the only time I saw any real results were the times when I was really consistent. I don’t have any kids, but I’ve interacted with a lot of different kids from a lot of different backgrounds and I can see a clear difference between the kids that have had consistent discipline and those that have not. In just about anything I can think of, prayer, bible reading, memory work, learning to play an instrument ,learning a new language, learning just about anything for that matter…consistency is key. We see in the bible that Jesus and his disciples were noticeably consistent. It was Jesus’ “habit” to go out alone and pray in the early morning or late evening hours. It was the habit of the apostles to go into the temples and synagogues to teach. So why am I thinking about this? Well, I think that consistency is something that humans really struggle with. We get lazy, we get tired of doing the same thing over & over again. But this is something that have to remember is that living a consistent life, a life that is in the footsteps of Christ, is something that we CANNOT get tired of. It’s just something we have to choose to do. So whatever you’re doing…work at it as if working for the Lord! Be consistent in everything for God’s glory. He’s consistent, we should be too.
6.20.2010
Fathers Day...
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6: 4
“If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!” Matthew 7:9
“Therefore you are no longer a slave, but a son; and if a son, then an heir through God.” Galatians 4:7
So, today is Fathers’ Day. I have very mixed feelings about this day….earthly fathers are not all what they should be. So for me this day could easily be a reminder of some very unpleasant times in life. Since I’ve come to Ghana I’ve started to realize more and more that it doesn’t really matter what kind of father you have….God is my Father. It is good for children to have Godly, righteous, loving protective fathers that really have their priorities in order. But not all children have this. In fact it is increasingly rare to find kids that have a stable family-life and Godly parents. I’ve learned though, that a less than ideal home life is no excuse for anything.
If you had/have a bad dad, remember that you’re not the only person that has to deal with this problem. BUT also remember that if you’re a Christian then you have been adopted and GOD is your real Father. And HE is the perfect father in every possible use of the word. He will protect you, discipline you, provide for you, comfort you, give you gifts, encourage you….anything you will ever need, He will give you if you ask with the right motive. He will never leave you. He will never let you down.
If you are a father, please remember that the way you treat your wife and your kids really will have a significant impact on them. A father that is too critical or judgmental or argumentative will cause a child to be scared to try anything new for fear of failure. A father that wants to be a “friend” to his kids instead of a parent will most likely have kids that are spoiled, undisciplined brats. So, dads, step up and be the fathers your kids need you to be. Don’t give them everything they want…give them what they need.
“If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!” Matthew 7:9
“Therefore you are no longer a slave, but a son; and if a son, then an heir through God.” Galatians 4:7
So, today is Fathers’ Day. I have very mixed feelings about this day….earthly fathers are not all what they should be. So for me this day could easily be a reminder of some very unpleasant times in life. Since I’ve come to Ghana I’ve started to realize more and more that it doesn’t really matter what kind of father you have….God is my Father. It is good for children to have Godly, righteous, loving protective fathers that really have their priorities in order. But not all children have this. In fact it is increasingly rare to find kids that have a stable family-life and Godly parents. I’ve learned though, that a less than ideal home life is no excuse for anything.
If you had/have a bad dad, remember that you’re not the only person that has to deal with this problem. BUT also remember that if you’re a Christian then you have been adopted and GOD is your real Father. And HE is the perfect father in every possible use of the word. He will protect you, discipline you, provide for you, comfort you, give you gifts, encourage you….anything you will ever need, He will give you if you ask with the right motive. He will never leave you. He will never let you down.
If you are a father, please remember that the way you treat your wife and your kids really will have a significant impact on them. A father that is too critical or judgmental or argumentative will cause a child to be scared to try anything new for fear of failure. A father that wants to be a “friend” to his kids instead of a parent will most likely have kids that are spoiled, undisciplined brats. So, dads, step up and be the fathers your kids need you to be. Don’t give them everything they want…give them what they need.
5.30.2010
Leaving on a jet plane....
yeah, I know it's not a very original title for a blog about traveling....but I've been busy this week so give me a little grace this time. So, as you can figure out from the title, I'll be traveling this summer. I'm planning on leaving Ghana on July 19th to come to the US for a visit. Then I'm planning on coming back to Ghana before school starts back sometime in mid-September. I havne't been very good in the communication department lately...sorry about that. I had my latest report ready to send out and my computer did something crazy and the whole thing got erased. So I have to redo it from scratch and I haven't had a lot of time to do it yet. I will get it sent out this week though, I promise. Things are going well here though. We're in the 4th quarter of school. 4 of my students moved up to the next class level and I got 3 new students that have never been in an ACE school before. We (my monitors and I) have been busy making sure that they know the rules and all the correct procedures for how we do things in the class room. I hope you're all doing great in the Lord as we are here. can't wait to see you in July and catch up & let you know how things are going here in Kumasi.
In Christ
BA
In Christ
BA
5.04.2010
normalcy
So, things are pretty normal around here lately for me. I had Malaria about a month ago...but got some medicine pretty fast and was feeling better within a few days. We had a great ladies' retreat where we talked/learned all about time management and being good stewards of the things we have. This is the last week of the quarter for school here so my students are busy working like crazy (some of them at least) to try to get as many PACES completed as they can. I got two new students last week....since the ACE school system is self-paced it doesn't really matter that they're coming into class the last week of the quarter. They're doing ok I think....I have started the process of applying for my Ghana Residency Visa. That means instead of a tourist visa that I have to renew every couple of months (and pay every couple of months) I'll only have to pay once a year. It will probably save a lot of money in the long-run because the last 2 or 3 times I've renewed my visa there has been some sort of problem and I've had to pay the renewal fee AND an overstay fee which is more than the yearly cost of the Residency Visa. So, I'm excited about that. My nephew's 14th birthday was yesterday...I called him to wish him happy b-day and he said he'd been waiting for my call all day...I guess having an aunt that lives in Africa is pretty cool. Anyway, I can't believe he's 14. I was 14 when he was born...he'll be learning how to drive soon! My niece is starting school next fall and my other nephew is going to be 10 in December. They make me feel old sometimes. I'm planning on traveling to the US this summer...I'm in the process of getting my ticket changed so I can be there for my friend Sara's wedding in July. I'm a little excited and a little nervous about going back "home" again this summer....it's complicated. I know that I will miss Ghana A LOT!! I'm at home here now. Well, that's about all I can think of for now so until I see you all again.....
Peace & Love
Peace & Love
4.13.2010
it's a long post, this is your warning :-)
Well my 2 weeks of vacation are just about over. We spent a week at the beach just like we did last year. The beach at Axim is amazing…my pictures last year were a lot better. At the beginning of the week I was still feeling kind of crummy from malaria but it only lasted a couple of days into the vacation. I cannot describe how beautiful the place is….you’ll just have to come & see it for yourself…but don’t come during “our” week….then there will be too many people on “our” beach. Haha. I joked that this year it was strange because last time if you saw a white person you knew they were with us…but this year there were LOTS of obrunis there. Everywhere you looked there was a white person. We always have a good time at the beach. I usually spend a lot of time sitting on the beach by myself at night. The beach is just so beautiful at night when no one is around and it’s all quiet….All you can hear is the wind and the waves. The stars are all out and there are millions of little twinkling lights in the sky. So, while other people are sitting in the room watching TV or playing video games, I sit on the beach.
All that sitting on the beach gave me lots of time to think. I think a lot, too much many of my friends say. I’m realizing lately that they might be right. I have a tendency to sit & think about my life so much that I end up worrying about things that I have no control over. I know better than to worry about life. I know that I can’t add a single second to my life by worrying and that in actuality, worrying will shorten your life. So why do I still do it? I don’t know. I have to say though, that I’m a lot better than I used to be. I think living in Ghana has done that for me. Seeing the faith that people around here has helped me to have more faith. I know that God has plans for my future, and I know that they are good plans; plans for prosperity and not for calamity (Jeremiah 29:11) so there’s no need for me to worry about anything.
I sometimes (ok, quite frequently) wonder what people who have known me for a long time would think if they could see me here without me knowing they were watching. A couple of my friends have told me that I have changed significantly since I came to Ghana the first time. I wonder what kinds of changes people have noticed. I think about my future a lot. When I look back over the last 5 years or 10 years even, I never would have thought that this is where I would be right now. But I still think and wonder where I’ll be 5 years from now. God has a way of surprising me. He’s so much more creative and surprising than I think I give Him credit for. Now I know how silly that statement sounds….I mean He’s THE creator….creativity is HIS invention but I think that I, and many others, have a tendency to sort of forget that God is not some gray old man sitting on a cloud just passively watching us go about our day to day existences. He has entrusted us with His most precious creation, The Church, so of course He cares about our lives.
Another thing I’ve been thinking about a lot lately is my own self-image and lack of confidence. For as long as I can remember I’ve hated getting compliments, especially about how I look or some talent I have. I have frequently debated with the person giving the compliment about how undeserving I am of said compliment. I’ve had a revelation here in Ghana. Who do I think I am to turn down a compliment from anyone? God created me to be the person that I am. I am “fearfully and wonderfully” made by the creator of the universe (and so are you by the way) so how can I say that I’m not good enough? As far as confidence goes, I need to remember that I don’t get my confidence from myself. I should be getting my confidence from God. Sure there are things I probably can’t do….but God can do anything and HE is in me! He can and will give me the ability to do anything that He wants me to be able to do. Anyway, that’s my big revelation for now. As usual, life is an adventure, but I’m starting to really enjoy the twists & turns. I know that God won’t let it get out of hand. I don’t know what the future holds and that’s finally ok with me. More than once here I’ve heard the phrase “let God surprise you.” I’ve never liked surprises….but life can be surprising sometimes so I’m getting used to it.
that's all for now....
BAM
All that sitting on the beach gave me lots of time to think. I think a lot, too much many of my friends say. I’m realizing lately that they might be right. I have a tendency to sit & think about my life so much that I end up worrying about things that I have no control over. I know better than to worry about life. I know that I can’t add a single second to my life by worrying and that in actuality, worrying will shorten your life. So why do I still do it? I don’t know. I have to say though, that I’m a lot better than I used to be. I think living in Ghana has done that for me. Seeing the faith that people around here has helped me to have more faith. I know that God has plans for my future, and I know that they are good plans; plans for prosperity and not for calamity (Jeremiah 29:11) so there’s no need for me to worry about anything.
I sometimes (ok, quite frequently) wonder what people who have known me for a long time would think if they could see me here without me knowing they were watching. A couple of my friends have told me that I have changed significantly since I came to Ghana the first time. I wonder what kinds of changes people have noticed. I think about my future a lot. When I look back over the last 5 years or 10 years even, I never would have thought that this is where I would be right now. But I still think and wonder where I’ll be 5 years from now. God has a way of surprising me. He’s so much more creative and surprising than I think I give Him credit for. Now I know how silly that statement sounds….I mean He’s THE creator….creativity is HIS invention but I think that I, and many others, have a tendency to sort of forget that God is not some gray old man sitting on a cloud just passively watching us go about our day to day existences. He has entrusted us with His most precious creation, The Church, so of course He cares about our lives.
Another thing I’ve been thinking about a lot lately is my own self-image and lack of confidence. For as long as I can remember I’ve hated getting compliments, especially about how I look or some talent I have. I have frequently debated with the person giving the compliment about how undeserving I am of said compliment. I’ve had a revelation here in Ghana. Who do I think I am to turn down a compliment from anyone? God created me to be the person that I am. I am “fearfully and wonderfully” made by the creator of the universe (and so are you by the way) so how can I say that I’m not good enough? As far as confidence goes, I need to remember that I don’t get my confidence from myself. I should be getting my confidence from God. Sure there are things I probably can’t do….but God can do anything and HE is in me! He can and will give me the ability to do anything that He wants me to be able to do. Anyway, that’s my big revelation for now. As usual, life is an adventure, but I’m starting to really enjoy the twists & turns. I know that God won’t let it get out of hand. I don’t know what the future holds and that’s finally ok with me. More than once here I’ve heard the phrase “let God surprise you.” I’ve never liked surprises….but life can be surprising sometimes so I’m getting used to it.
that's all for now....
BAM
3.07.2010
insufficient
I wish I was better with words....don't get me wrong, I can communicate..I majored in Communication for crying out loud. But my communication abilities are best utilized in a technical aspect. I can write newspaper articles, commercials, advertisements...just about any kind of technical writing or editing; I can do it. But when it comes to creative stuff, not my forte. "What difference does it make?", you might ask....well the fact is all the technical writing in the world is insufficient to tell about my life here in Ghana. I read other people's blogs (more creative people) and I just WISH I could write like that. People don't want to read a newspaper article, checklist of stuff about my life. All the words I can think of are insufficient to describe the joy and sense of fulfillment I get from being here. I just wish I could do justice to how I feel about Ghana with the words I write.
I feel at home here. I don't know how to explain it. I've heard some preaching/teaching lately about how God had purposed us for something before we were ever even born...this is something I've heard before, but after being here it has a new meaning to me. Was it God's plan all along for me to come to Ghana? When I was a little girl getting scared by my brothers and playing outside with no shoes on and catching mice and moles and catterpillars to bring in the house, was HE planning to send me here way back then? When I didn't get into the college I wanted, didn't get accepted into the music department, found out from Campus Christian Fellowship that I LOVED misions.....was HE planning then.....It's crazy to me to think that there's some larger purpose for my life than I know of right now....I guess I know that God has a purpose for everyone's life, but most of the time I feel insufficient to do something for God. Me moving to Ghana and living here and working as a missionary is something I never would have imagined in my life but the fact is....this is where I am. If God has planned (and set in to motion) all the events that got me here; what in the world is HE planning now?! It's kind of fritening to me, to be honest. I like to know what's going on, what's going to happen next. Ask any of my family and friends....I don't like suprises. I like to know when, where, why and how thing are going to go down. Well the problem here is that God, well HE really REALLY likes to surprise people. So God and I, we're kind of at odds sometimes. He wants to surprise me, only I'm not sure I'm ready for whatever surprises he has in store for me. Isn't that STUPID! He wants to give us good gifts and he owns everything in existence so why wouldn't I want Him to surprise me....? Short answer, I don't know. Maybe it's about control. Maybe it's about pride. Whatever it is, I need to get over it.
All my life (as long as I can remember at least) I've had issues with my self-image. I have always felt insufficient. Insuffiently smart. Insufficiently pretty. Insufficiently talented. Insuffcient in just about every way. I'm smart enough to know that all these thoughts of insuffiency are straight from Satan. If someone feels too insufficient to work effectively for God, then they won't do anything. They'll be stagnant. They'll fester. Eventually, they'll die spiritually. Since coming here I've been able to start seeing that I am not insufficient. All the feelings of insufficiency are from years of believing the lies I heard from people. Mean kids at school, mean kids at church (unfortunately) mean total strangers. Sometimes even from family members. Proverbs 23:7 says; "For as he thinks within himself, so he is." So after years of hearing that I'm not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough talented enough....I guess I've started to believe it. The tide is turning though. No one ever tells me that here. Here when people hear me say something negative about myself, they reprimand me for it. They KNOW that you will eventually act out what you belive about yourself. So yeah, I am insufficient, but HIS grace is sufficient for me. I'm unbeliveably thankful for God bringing me here. I LOVE Ghana. I can't imagine being anywhere else. I have no idea whatsoever, what God plans on doing with me next, and that freaks me out a little.....but I know I'm ready for it.
I feel at home here. I don't know how to explain it. I've heard some preaching/teaching lately about how God had purposed us for something before we were ever even born...this is something I've heard before, but after being here it has a new meaning to me. Was it God's plan all along for me to come to Ghana? When I was a little girl getting scared by my brothers and playing outside with no shoes on and catching mice and moles and catterpillars to bring in the house, was HE planning to send me here way back then? When I didn't get into the college I wanted, didn't get accepted into the music department, found out from Campus Christian Fellowship that I LOVED misions.....was HE planning then.....It's crazy to me to think that there's some larger purpose for my life than I know of right now....I guess I know that God has a purpose for everyone's life, but most of the time I feel insufficient to do something for God. Me moving to Ghana and living here and working as a missionary is something I never would have imagined in my life but the fact is....this is where I am. If God has planned (and set in to motion) all the events that got me here; what in the world is HE planning now?! It's kind of fritening to me, to be honest. I like to know what's going on, what's going to happen next. Ask any of my family and friends....I don't like suprises. I like to know when, where, why and how thing are going to go down. Well the problem here is that God, well HE really REALLY likes to surprise people. So God and I, we're kind of at odds sometimes. He wants to surprise me, only I'm not sure I'm ready for whatever surprises he has in store for me. Isn't that STUPID! He wants to give us good gifts and he owns everything in existence so why wouldn't I want Him to surprise me....? Short answer, I don't know. Maybe it's about control. Maybe it's about pride. Whatever it is, I need to get over it.
All my life (as long as I can remember at least) I've had issues with my self-image. I have always felt insufficient. Insuffiently smart. Insufficiently pretty. Insufficiently talented. Insuffcient in just about every way. I'm smart enough to know that all these thoughts of insuffiency are straight from Satan. If someone feels too insufficient to work effectively for God, then they won't do anything. They'll be stagnant. They'll fester. Eventually, they'll die spiritually. Since coming here I've been able to start seeing that I am not insufficient. All the feelings of insufficiency are from years of believing the lies I heard from people. Mean kids at school, mean kids at church (unfortunately) mean total strangers. Sometimes even from family members. Proverbs 23:7 says; "For as he thinks within himself, so he is." So after years of hearing that I'm not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough talented enough....I guess I've started to believe it. The tide is turning though. No one ever tells me that here. Here when people hear me say something negative about myself, they reprimand me for it. They KNOW that you will eventually act out what you belive about yourself. So yeah, I am insufficient, but HIS grace is sufficient for me. I'm unbeliveably thankful for God bringing me here. I LOVE Ghana. I can't imagine being anywhere else. I have no idea whatsoever, what God plans on doing with me next, and that freaks me out a little.....but I know I'm ready for it.
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