“This world is not my home, I’m just a passin’ through, if this world was my home, then Lord, what would I do? The angels beckon me to Heaven’s open door and I can’t feel at home in this world anymore.”
There is so much on my mind lately. But after seeing some of the news updates online last night I feel a little overwhelmed by the fact that this world is hopeless. Seeing article upon article and picture after picture of the tragic events that took place at an Elementary school in the States is just....upsetting, to say it lightly. My facebook newsfeed was filled with status updates relating to it. I just can’t fathom....
Not to mention 6 adults and the person that allegedly did all the shooting himself. So many thoughts flood my mind in the darkness of this tragedy. How on earth could the idea to go into an elementary school and just open fire on children even enter into a person’s mind? How in the world are the families that lost one of their precious children going to ever live through the holidays? How are the children that survived ever going to get over the fear of just going to school? How could the media be so heartless to want to interview little children in the wake of this tragedy, making them relive a nightmare. What would I have done if one of those children was my child? I wonder how many parents in that area (or in the whole country really) needed this tragedy to happen so they would truly cherish their children for the wonderful blessings that they are. But the strongest feeling I have right now is this;
THANK YOU GOD, that this world is not my home!
I’m not going to lie, I am not ready (for some admittedly selfish reasons) to leave this world. I am due to have a baby any day now. My actual due date was yesterday in fact. As horrible as this world can be, I want to be here long enough to enjoy my daughter and watch her grow and learn and become a wonderful woman of God. I got married in February. I want to live here and enjoy many more years of marriage to the most wonderful husband in the world and hopefully, have more children. I haven’t seen some of my family and friends in the U.S. in years. I want to be able to go back to the States and “catch up” with them and let them know how much I love them. I want to take my Ghanaian husband, who’s never traveled more than a few hundred miles, to the States to meet my family (which is now also his family) and introduce him to all the places and people that are so near and dear to my heart. So in a way, I’m not ready to leave this world. But at the same time, I am SO ready.
The quote at the beginning of this post is from a hymn I learned after I came here to Ghana. I don’t actually like the music that much (its’s kind of old country church style) but the lyrics are one of the first things that came to mind when I read about the shooting. Upon searching for the lyrics I realize that I have not remembered them correctly, but I’m leaving them that way, because when the song came to mind, that’s how the words came out.
I just can’t feel at home in this world anymore.