I did it
In reference to a post a few back, I went up in front of the congregation this morning to ask for prayer about going to Ghana. Tim (the preacher) threw in a bit about how if anyone felt like they wanted to and were able to help me financially then they should. When the praise band was starting the last song, I felt like I needed to go up there, but I didn't budge. I could literally feel my legs shaking. I know it's hard to believe but doing that is more nerve wracking than flying or leaving the comforts of my well stocked home. At fall fest today, our children's minister (Chris) fussed at me for being so scared of doing things in front of people. Maybe "fussed" is a little extreme, but there was someone on stage playing a song that I really liked, and I mentioned to Chris that the guy on stage needed someone singing the harmony part. I started singing it just a little bit and he tried to get me to go up and sing on stage with the guy. I did not go, of course, and he then proceeded to give me some grief about how I needed to use my gifts and talents and whatnot. He's right, but I couldn't do it, I'm not ready for it yet. People have been telling me for a looooooooooong time that I needed to do stuff like that. Play the piano at church, sing in the praise band etc. I've heard it many many times. But seriously, I felt like I was going to pass out when I went up this morning, and I didn't even have to say anything. It's just a fear that I haven't conquered yet.