Confessions of a tortured youth

I'm about to tell you something, that I've never told anyone, other than family. I HATE my weight. Hate is a strong word you might say....that's very true, but if you had been made fun of everyday for years and years or if you had ever been so embarrassed that it totally ruined your entire week. Maybe then you'd hate it too. If you knew what it was like to wake up every day and wish that you could just go away....all because some kids you go to school with think it's SO fun to humiliate you, then maybe you'd hate your body too. I have been so embarrassed by my weight over the years, from such a young age, I don't know if I can ever be "normal" it may not be an option for me any more. For some reason, tonight it's getting to me. I cannot TAKE THIS anymore. I've been trying to lose weight for as long as I can remember. When I was little, mom would try to convince me how "fun" Sweating to the Oldies was, but she never made me do it for more than a few minutes. No one ever made me eat right or exercise. It sounds like I'm blaming my parents for this...and I guess that I sometimes do blame them. Someone should have stepped up and shown me the right way to eat and exercise, but it's not like my family members are all healthy weights either. So here it is. I'm an adult, and if I truly want to get healthy, I have to do it myself. And no you don't "know how I feel", you probably never will. I don't know anyone, personally, that has been fat for nearly their entire life. For that matter, I know very very few people that have ever even been significantly overweight. I don't want your sympathy, I don't want you to feel bad for me. I just want to get this off my chest. I'm starting it up right now. I guess that's enough ranting for now.