All journeys have secret destinations, of which the traveler is unaware.

I have learned to be content in whatever circumstance I am. Philippians 4:11b

6.28.2009

time for some rest....




Well, things have been a bit hectic/crazy/busy since I got back to the US on the 16th/17th. My brother's family has to move before the end of June so we had a yard sale which I helped with, my mom got married on the 26th, I was the Maid of Honor/Caterer so I had to prep all the food. Then, since I've been out of the country for the last 7 months, my mom was handling all my bills for me, well, she is a little late on a couple of them so I had about a million calls from College Foundation and CapitalOne. Grrrrrr. I've ridden or driven several hundred miles in the last few days and I'm pretty beat. One of my friends asked me if I wanted to work camp with them this week...my brother will be there working and I'd probably enjoy it, but I really feel like I need some good rest.
I can honestly say that this week I will feel more at home than I've felt since I left Ghana. The friends I have from college that I'm staying with, are like family to me and I feel totally at home in their house. I know I can come and go as I please, I can get things out of the fridge I know where all the dishes are, I feel at home. I haven't felt at home really since I've been back. The first week I stayed at my mom & her new husband's house which I've never been to in my life. It's a perfectly fine house, and they try to make me feel welcome, but it's just not "home." At the end of the week I stayed with one of my brother's & his family but it's not home either. Then on Thursday I stayed with my other brother & his wife, I was comfortable, but it's not "home."
I'm the kind of person that once I get used to being somewhere I really settle in and don't want to leave. I have grown used to Ghana over the last 7 months. Ghana is home for me now. That's exciting and a little scay all at the same time. I am comfortable in the Hostetter's house, I'm comfortable in the school, I'm comfortable with the people. It's great! The things I thought I'd miss, I really didn't care too much about and the things I worried about before leaving worked themselves out. Mostly I was worried about my mom being alone, well God worked that one out didn't he, she just got married a couple of days ago.
I love my friends here in NC. I really, really do. They're the greatest and I know that any of them would be there for me if I needed them. But I love my friends in Ghana too. I really feel like the work I'm able to do in Ghana is so much more important than anything I have ever done here in the States. A few years ago I never would have belived anyone telling me that I'd be going to Africa and liking it so much that I wanted to go back. Now I can honestly say I'm so excited about getting back to Ghana in September. One of my friends asked me today if I could see myself living there permanently.......that's a tough question, I've only lived there for 7 months, but I really think I could make Ghana my home permanently. Sure I'd miss my friends and family here in the States. But communication is so easy nowdays even in a country like Ghana. There's an internet cafe right near the house, I can get a cell phone. People are only an email or phone call away.
Sometimes I wonder what in the world I'm getting into. Can I really live in Africa full time, not just for a few months? The voice in my head says "you're not a missionary....you're nuts." But I'm not so sure I should listen to that voice anymore. All Christians are commanded to "go and make disciples" so technically we are all missionaries in one way or another. I just feel strange thinking that I could go in to ministry in some form, full time. I feel inadequate most of the time when I think about it that way. I feel like I just don't know enough about scripture or God or the Bible or any of that "spiritual" stuff. But I'm learning every single day. I have grown a lot just from being in Ghana for 7 months. I cannot imagine staying here in the States. I have really missed my friends, but now that I'm here, I really miss my friends in Ghana. As cliche as it sounds, I really feel like my heart is in Ghana. I am so thankful that my friend Connie went to Ghana when I was in college and then later Travis went and I ended up going because of that. The first trip I took over the summer really changed my life. I have no idea how long God will keep me in Ghana, and I'm excited about it.
Keep Shining,
BAM

3 comments:

Amanda said...

Beth Ann--you don't even have to say it out loud. Just watching you yesterday made it very apparent that NC is no longer your only home. There was a. . .glow(?) about you yesterday. . .and I'm so excited for you and this opportunity.

BAMboozle said...

a "glow" hahaha, am I radioactive now? Just kidding, I know what you mean, I couldn't resist.

Kellar Stem said...

BAM, I love this collage! I love your smile!!