it's a long post, this is your warning :-)

Well my 2 weeks of vacation are just about over. We spent a week at the beach just like we did last year. The beach at Axim is amazing…my pictures last year were a lot better. At the beginning of the week I was still feeling kind of crummy from malaria but it only lasted a couple of days into the vacation. I cannot describe how beautiful the place is….you’ll just have to come & see it for yourself…but don’t come during “our” week….then there will be too many people on “our” beach. Haha. I joked that this year it was strange because last time if you saw a white person you knew they were with us…but this year there were LOTS of obrunis there. Everywhere you looked there was a white person. We always have a good time at the beach. I usually spend a lot of time sitting on the beach by myself at night. The beach is just so beautiful at night when no one is around and it’s all quiet….All you can hear is the wind and the waves. The stars are all out and there are millions of little twinkling lights in the sky. So, while other people are sitting in the room watching TV or playing video games, I sit on the beach.

All that sitting on the beach gave me lots of time to think. I think a lot, too much many of my friends say. I’m realizing lately that they might be right. I have a tendency to sit & think about my life so much that I end up worrying about things that I have no control over. I know better than to worry about life. I know that I can’t add a single second to my life by worrying and that in actuality, worrying will shorten your life. So why do I still do it? I don’t know. I have to say though, that I’m a lot better than I used to be. I think living in Ghana has done that for me. Seeing the faith that people around here has helped me to have more faith. I know that God has plans for my future, and I know that they are good plans; plans for prosperity and not for calamity (Jeremiah 29:11) so there’s no need for me to worry about anything.

I sometimes (ok, quite frequently) wonder what people who have known me for a long time would think if they could see me here without me knowing they were watching. A couple of my friends have told me that I have changed significantly since I came to Ghana the first time. I wonder what kinds of changes people have noticed. I think about my future a lot. When I look back over the last 5 years or 10 years even, I never would have thought that this is where I would be right now. But I still think and wonder where I’ll be 5 years from now. God has a way of surprising me. He’s so much more creative and surprising than I think I give Him credit for. Now I know how silly that statement sounds….I mean He’s THE creator….creativity is HIS invention but I think that I, and many others, have a tendency to sort of forget that God is not some gray old man sitting on a cloud just passively watching us go about our day to day existences. He has entrusted us with His most precious creation, The Church, so of course He cares about our lives.

Another thing I’ve been thinking about a lot lately is my own self-image and lack of confidence. For as long as I can remember I’ve hated getting compliments, especially about how I look or some talent I have. I have frequently debated with the person giving the compliment about how undeserving I am of said compliment. I’ve had a revelation here in Ghana. Who do I think I am to turn down a compliment from anyone? God created me to be the person that I am. I am “fearfully and wonderfully” made by the creator of the universe (and so are you by the way) so how can I say that I’m not good enough? As far as confidence goes, I need to remember that I don’t get my confidence from myself. I should be getting my confidence from God. Sure there are things I probably can’t do….but God can do anything and HE is in me! He can and will give me the ability to do anything that He wants me to be able to do. Anyway, that’s my big revelation for now. As usual, life is an adventure, but I’m starting to really enjoy the twists & turns. I know that God won’t let it get out of hand. I don’t know what the future holds and that’s finally ok with me. More than once here I’ve heard the phrase “let God surprise you.” I’ve never liked surprises….but life can be surprising sometimes so I’m getting used to it.
that's all for now....
BAM